Filed under: amusement
“WHERE YOU AT, GIIIIIIIRL?. . . NO. I’S AT MCDONALD’S. GONNA GET A HAMBURGAH.”
The census at the Chinatown McDonald’s today at 12:30pm was approximately 236 strong. They wanted BURGERS.
And blood.
The smaller ones, the tiny asian women with enormous purses, were nearly trampled by the herd of angry Americans reaching for ketchup packets, straws, sacks of food, and precariously lidded drink cups. Biting, scratching, screaming, grunting, and other less savory behaviors were noted by myself and a couple other confused onlookers. I had a moment of thankfulness — for my stature and for my Rabies, Hepatitis, and Tetanus vaccinations. I escaped with my own sack of highly-processed foodstuffs, and returned to work unscathed.
On the back of the fries, there is the somewhat puzzling statement: “It’s what I eat and what I do.” How does one “do” McDonald’s? you may ask. . . Well, I have come up with a few suggestions:
1. Serving up this delicious and nutrious cuisine has become a source of pride for the employees of this grand establishment. They want to express the sheer joy they experience every day, bringing us the very finest. Similarly, “Animal care: it’s what I do.”
2. “McDonald’s” is more than just a restaurant or a brand of cuisine: it’s a way of life. It’s a mentality. It’s the mentality that leads people to trample smaller people because THEY’S GONNA GET A HAMBURGAH.
3. “Doing McDonald’s” is a euphemism. For making more McDonald’s in the bowl. “DUDE, I just did a totally Big Mac!”
4. Someone in marketing thought it sounded cool, and figured that nobody with working knowledge of the english language would be eating there, anyway.
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