Waiting to Collide

An Open Letter to the Office Regs

Hey, guys.

I realize that we don’t talk much, or ever, really.  So I thought that maybe we should clear the air.

We don’t like each other.  There’s no mistaking it.  It stretches as far back as middle and high school.  You never liked me; I never liked you.  The typical dynamic is the self-loathing nerd versus the socially powerful regs.  Most nerds have problems embracing themselves and some even think that your judgment is righteous.

I am not one of those nerds.

I have little regard for your opinions, and ignore you for the most part.  You’re cruel to my kin, and cruel to each other.  Gossiping, MySpacing at work, being unprofessional in office meetings.  A few of you are immature and uncouth.  A few of you are simply immature.

I keep my opinions in the home realm.  I criticize you to my friends, and here.  When writing, I use pseudonyms to protect your identities in this semi-public blog.  I do not have outbursts in meetings concerning why I dislike you.  “Dislike” being the appropriate word, as no criticism of my work ethic or standard was given, simply your views on my lack of interest in you or your weekend hobbies.  I dislike you.

And all of this, I am OK with.  I’m comfortable disliking, and being disliked by you.  I am unconcerned that you likely make fun of me when I am not in the office.  I don’t mind that you avoid me in elevators.  We work together, and professionalism dictates that we tolerate one another.  You will never be surrounded with people like yourselves.  Society is not homogeneous.  So, I ask you, humbly, to accept those who you cannot change.  Treat those of my kin who are not so unphased by your behavior in a more respectful and inclusive manner.

And maybe not listen to South Park through the speakers on your desk and put things down your pants when I am in the room.  I genuinely wish you all the best in life.

Ash

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