Filed under: unsolicited opinions
Take that spending and shove it.
Filed under: amusement
Unsavory things to do to balloons. Not that I judge.
Filed under: self indulgence
My downstairs neighbors are having extremely loud sex at this very moment. She’s doing vocal warm-ups at the same time. It’s humorous and sexy at the same time.
BFF and platonic lifemate is at her parent’s house all day. Roommate is giving a talk in North Carolina. Girl Date is busy all day. Man Date is most likely sleeping off two weeks of 18-hour days. I don’t have the option of going to my family’s because I have cat duty this weekend.
There is a large scale pillow fight happening today in Boston. For the first time in months, all I want is to not be alone; courtesy of drugs, I am well-rested and frisky. Today is seeming to be a vacuum for social activity.
Filed under: art/writing
hank’s face down
on my floor
again
another night without
drinking or
fucking or
wanting for
too proud to be poor
with holes in our shoes
spirit in our glass
and something warm
to grab in the dark
minds
like wild horses
wasted
in stables
Filed under: self indulgence
There has been a serious uptick in the insomnia in the past week. Four of the seven past days I’ve had to take Seroquel to sleep at all, and still wake up frequently… On the nights I don’t take anything, I really don’t sleep. There’s this thing I call the “gator death roll” where I just roll over and over and over for hours — anyone I’ve slept with can attest that this is just about the most obnoxious habit ever. So I roll, look at my phone, check my email, roll around some more, look at my phone again. Completely exhausted, but unable to put out the flames or slow down the burning carousel in my head. Debating whether or not to just go back to staying awake until I can’t stand up, sleep 3-4 hours, and have done with it. Frustrating.
Filed under: self indulgence
Up until this weekend, there was a ceratin duality to my social life. I had lived in Connecticut until I was 18, then Austin for 7 years or so, then back to New England for the past year and a half. During these periods, I put friendships in opposite places on pause. These were people I had grown close to over the years, and felt extraordinarily comfortable with on different levels. For some, this was the rule that any and all things in my head were open to discussion — for others, it was the rule that the unspoken could be accepted and expressed only in moments of acute emotion. It’s the art of being known both verbally and instinctually by those closest to you. The dichotomy of being fiercely private but needing, desperately, to be understood and accepted. Both beautiful and complex, but confusing to even myself.
This weekend has been particularly surreal in that two of the people I consider to be in the closest friends circle have been introduced. They’re quite different, and fall into the opposite catergories of friendship. Awkward, yet satisfying. Knowing that Best Friend and I will be moving back to Austin this summer is intensely pleasurable, and a moment that I look forward to. Restarting again… Maybe for the last time?
Filed under: Uncategorized
Filed under: amusement
A little over a month ago, Best Friend and I were in NYC on our way to the Met. Stuffed into many of the ads were 4″x 6″ cards advertising some event featuring Red Gal and Special Kay. The very card (which I have been carrying with me, and feverishly debating the meaning of since) is thus:
My immediate reaction was “This must be a BBW live sex show! Hey, there’s TIGHT TIGHT SECURITY!, MUSIC, and LIVE VIDEO!!!“ Then… “But it’s an East Coast/West Coast match up… Perhaps a rap off?” Best Friend and I chatted very animatedly on the subject for some time while packed tightly into a subway car with children and ornery-looking New Yorkers. Some other passengers picked up copies of the cards and began to discuss amongst themselves. No conclusion.
When I returned home, Google was consulted, and no definitive answer was discovered. The card stayed as a book mark for a few weeks, then found its way onto my dining room table where it puzzled Mathematician Boyfriend and I for another week, until we began researching again today.
MySpace has verified that Special Kay is, indeed, a real person. Brownmann (Anthony?) seems to be real as well. And Tishawn seems to be Special Kay’s daughter and Brownmann’s wife/soon-to-be baby’s momma.
As interesting as uncovering these people’s relationships to one another is, I still do not understand the nature of what occurred at Black River, who Philly Damien is, why big ups have been given to a string of numbers, or why the women appear to be glowing with radioactive prowess. Special Kay’s MySpace page brings up deep questions like: “The Fuck are you doing?!“ It is also curious that I have not had multiple absence seizures while scouring this glossy conundrum.
I called Brownmann’s number (listed at the bottom of Side 2) and his voicemail shouted unintelligibly at me in, what I assume to be, rap. I left a brief message identifying myself and requesting further information on Special Kay and (the elusive) Red Gal.
Filed under: amusement
OK, so manic episodes are extremely destructive and totally suck for the person having them… but… this guy is soooooooooo funny! Skip to the last 2 minutes for the best rant and psychosis.
Filed under: secrets
